I’ve been having a hard time focusing on my goals with all the chaos flying through the air. I get easily distracted by urgency and feelings of despair. I know in my heart that what is happening to our country is for the greater good of our future history, and I know that the light at the end of this horrifying tunnel is bright enough to get us through, but the reality of it all is sinking in and cutting deep. How are we to move forward living our dreams, when the dreams of so many are being shattered?
I suppose I feel lucky to be one of the chosen ones. One of the spiritual millennial that has been sent to Earth to combat the darkness. You may read this and think I sound crazy, but I’m not. There is an army of mystics that walk among us, who have been called to spread messages of eternal truth. We all have our roles to play, and hopefully we will band together and influence enough people to make an impact on humanity.
Still with me? I know many of you may have no idea what I'm talking about, yet. And believe me, I did not know that I would turn out this way. If you’d asked me 3 years ago what my hopes and dreams were… well, I had none. Instead, I had a distain for myself. An internal darkness so black that I would try starving myself to death. Hah. I only wished I had the power to starve myself. Oh how I admired the anorexic for her ability to control. Clearly I was lost, depressed, and crippled by the world I lived in.
But here I stand, and I stand tall and strong. I’ve developed a new sense of self worth, love, and admiration for my surroundings. I’ve developed the ability to vision and use my imagination. Where there were once images of skin and bones, I now see stars. I see all the possibilities that this world has to offer. I see the light in me and the beauty that radiates from my skin. I don’t need anyones approval, only to be seen as pure in the eyes of God. Because at the end of this life, when you are taking your final breaths, there is nobody around to save you. Nobody. Only you and your conscience.
So, when I say that I’ve come here to save you, it’s because I’ve been through this before. While the circumstances are different, the process is the same. You must tear down your house and rebuild it through the eyes of God*. This is the only way of knowing true joy and fulfillment. If you ask anyone, “What is it that you want in this life?” The answer is always happiness. If the answer is money, and you ask “why?” the response is always “well, if I had more money, I’d be happy.” If the response is “to be thin”, well, “why?” “Because if I were thin, I’d be happy.” No matter what way you spin it, and no matter who you ask, the answer always comes back to the desire for happiness. Well my friends, you will not know true happiness until you learn to see the beauty in everything that exists. And you cannot see beauty if you are clouded by fear, self doubt, greed, vanity, or insecurity. This is what it means to tear down the house. Finding the source of these feelings (often buried in past experiences), learning how to practice forgiveness and gratitude, and then rebuilding your life with the light of the cosmos. We will get to this.
My process and my path will look different from yours, but the tools I used to get here will help to rebuild your house too.
On a lighter note, I'll share with you my goals for this year... Now that I have found my passion and my purpose, I've been able to create clear goals that will help me build the career and life that was intended for me. By sharing these goals, I am being held accountable to making them happen. And because I do believe that dreams come true if you put in the work, I'm not afraid to share. I hope to build trust with you so that you can feel sanctity in my advice.
My goals for 2017:
- PUSH: My time is spent feeding my creative soul and I am building a lucrative career that allows me to be creative and inspirational to others
- I am an integral part of the Aura Avenue tribe and I am building a career as a full time blogger
- I live in a beautiful apartment in Los Angeles with Jill this Summer, 2017
- I am financially free- I am living in a state of ease and abundance and I have all credit card debt paid off this year
- I am paid to attend music festivals as an artist/blogger/dancer/speaker and am writing about festival culture
- I am a dancer and I will perform in 2017
- I am living a balanced lifestyle- I eat intuitively, exercise regularly, and listen to my bodies needs
- I am consistently selling belongings on eBay and am using the income to pay down debt
- I am an influencer and a role model and am building a following
- I am modeling on my terms and use my modeling skills to further my career as a blogger/influencer
I see myself speaking in front of thousands of people, giving speeches that resonate and change people from the inside out. Speaking and performing at festivals is the best way for me to reach the people who are already on the path toward transcendence. I am not able to directly influence those who are still in the darkness because they cannot see my light. But those who have a glimmer of truth will hear my words and receive my vibration. But, in order to become this powerful public figure, I must be willing to be completely vulnerable to the world. I cannot hide. I have to share my story and my thoughts, no matter how ugly or uncomfortable I may feel. What have I got to lose, really?
I am just going to be myself and express the hell out of it. Because thats really what every individual soul longs for. It wants you to be authentic and genuine to yourself. Do the dirty work, and then reap the rewards. You will find that the more honest and true you become, the better life situations you will find yourself in, and the more loving and inclusive people you will attract.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t know where to start. But then I think about where I am and what I’ve already accomplished to get me this far, and I can see that the process begun long ago. The physical manifestation of my true purpose and desires lies right here beneath my fingertips. It lies in this blog. It lies in my social media. And it lies in the words I will speak and the art I will create that will get me to the places where I am needed the most.
I would say the hardest thing at this point is patience. I am one of instant gratification. I like to see things happen now, although each day I continue breathing, that sense of urgency becomes lighter. There is so much beauty in the process. It’s okay to trust that you will be where you need to be, when you need to be there. But for now, I am here. And there is really no place I’d rather be.
*God- I will address the development of my spirituality in another post (many posts I'm sure), but just to be clear as I move forward, I am not religious. I am not Christian or Catholic or anything else. I do not approve nor disapprove of religion, though it is the judgment of ones religious beliefs that divides us. All religion has the same core, like it or not. That being the fact that we are a part of creation larger than we can comprehend. There are universal laws that hold true for every soul, regardless of cultural or geographical differences. I use the term God because it beautifully reflects how far I've come in my development of spirit and sense of self. You will learn of this later, but don't be afraid of the term. It is all inclusive and unique to the eye of the beholder.